Love From Maria

 Writing again - it feels like it is time. For two years I have removed myself from many of the platforms that I took comfort in and found connection in. My heart has been troubled by the division and the hate. Maybe I slept well, maybe it's been marinating and is ready to boil over but today I woke up and knew it was time to write again. I'm not here choosing a side, telling you who to vote for, what to do with your body, or who is right and who is wrong. I am here because love remains the answer and it remains the calling on my heart to share. We have seen our share of shocking, disturbing, heartbreaking events over the last few years. We have argued and been divided, we have chosen a side and judged freely. There will forever be various beliefs, ways of seeing something, and beliefs in how to handle situations - we will and should never all think the same. Imagine a world where we all think the same. I imagine that world would still be flat, have the universe revolving aroun...

I think we all have a lot of time right now to do some thinking - I know I do. I also think the most important things in our lives are rising up while the less important or obligatory parts are being let go of - for now. It's truly a beautiful thing. When are we ever going to have a chance like this again to slow down, evaluate what we're up to, soak in some snuggles, and settle down? What does slowing down mean for you? For me, it has meant a lot more reading, a lot more writing, and a lot more thinking. It's meant homeschooling the fellas - or trying my best to - more time to tidy and clean, and an even bigger appreciation for a simpler life. It's been a process, moving through the emotions that come with this interesting situation we all find ourselves in. And I am sure the emotions will continue to ebb and flow, as they always do. In the ebb of acceptance, I've found I have a lot more headspace and a sense of finding pieces of me that had been neglected. ...

Emotions are interesting. My experience with them is sort of like riding a bike - once you've gone for a ride with one you recognize it again pretty quickly. Today I hopped back on the bike with a less than desirable, yet necessary, emotion - sadness. Today sadness came rolling back in like a nasty blast from the past and consumed me for the better part of the day. I don't feel wrong for feeling sad, we are experiencing something that to this point, many of us had only read about in history books or seen similarities to in movies. Sidenote: Contagion is too close for comfort right now. I think we are all processing this in different ways. We feel excited to be together and at the same time overwhelmed to be together. We feel anxious about educating our kids and at the same time, we feel significant being able to educate our kids. We need to stay home yet so many close to us are called to work on the front lines. There's a whole lot going on - it's good, it's...

We are surrounded by a culture of do more, be more, start a multi-billion dollar business from the ground up, in your kitchen, while raising four kids - all while documenting a perfect home on Instagram. Well, I'm over it. To be honest, I don't think I was ever really into it, but I am declaring that I am officially over it. As a teenager I lived for Sports Med - I know this seems like a real left turn right now, but hear me out - I spent extra hours in the classroom and soaked up all the learnings. I remember at one point seeing one common denominator shared between just about every disease and illness that we discussed - it was stress. At that time, I was maybe fifteen or sixteen, I decided that I would never live a life filled with stress because to me, it seemed to be one of the biggest causes of illness or death. Ten years later I was a new-mom, wading through the experience of all things first-time-mom. I was grateful, very grateful, but I wasn't happy. My strug...

While I was on vacation Participaction's latest report card popped into my inbox. Naturally, I opened it to read - I love their report cards and if you know me you know that nachos and active living are a couple of things I love. Well, this post isn't about nachos and the report card hasn't left my mind since reading it. This year they published their first-ever report card on ADULTS - spoiler alert - our grades are nothing to write home about. Image via Participaction You can read the full report here - and I encourage you to. It won't take you long but it will wake you up to the preventative steps (literally) we can take to make the future better and healthier for us and our children. I mean, it's no wonder our children keep getting poor grades for physical activity (you can read the Participaction report on that here ) when we aren't getting good grades ourselves. And this isn't about shaming either because I know we all have a lot on our plates an...

Recently I, with the support of my husband, decided to leave my dream job. Wow - a dozen or so words to capture thirteen years of dedication to one organization.  It was not a decision that we took lightly, but when the time came, the decision felt like the right thing to do. I've had a couple of months to process it now and have been thinking about writing something. Today, after a conversation with some old colleagues I knew what I wanted to share. I have had the gift of reflection lately with my new found time and capacity. Leaving my dream job - because it was - revealed some very valuable learnings to me: 1- Always be able to remove yourself from your role.  In the final months before my departure, I found it difficult to draw the line of where I stopped and my role started. We had become one and the same. Now, I'll be honest because that's what I do, I didn't recognize this myself. Two things cued me into this. First, I had a conversation with my CEO - t...

Parents, moms, dads, guardians, friends, humans of planet Earth - how do you do it all?! Does anyone do it all? Life has some serious perceived expectations - and I feel like I've been dancing with them lately. And I don't mean slow dance or even two-step, I'm talking I-carried-a-watermelon-Dirty-Dancing-dancing with what it means to be a good mom, good employee, good wife, good daughter, sister, friend, neighbour, human. It feels like there is pressure from all directions; keep the house clean, make organic meals, pack those organic meals into sustainable lunchboxes, deliver the best material, reach the largest audience, do your make-up, put on real pants - okay the last one seems fair 5/7 days but does anyone else feel me on this list? I think about it daily, in the silence when I'm walking alone, in the noise when I'm driving with the boys, while I'm falling asleep at night. I don't know for sure what the answer is or how to solve it - if you do pl...

Yesterday the boys and I walked to the park - not an entirely out of the ordinary thing for us. They organized themselves into a make-shift game where one would climb the ladder while the other climbed the slide, then the ladder-climber would slide down the slide attempting to bring the slide-climber down with him. While I watched them play I couldn't stop smiling - and then thinking - of course. We all hear about how good play is for kids - how it's necessary, helps with socialization, mental health, physical literacy - it's essential. But I often think about how good it is for me too. There is little better for my mood than a walk. It brightens my mood, calms me down, eases my mind. It helps me to be a better mom, a better wife, a better human in general. It's where I collect my thoughts and make sense of things. It's also the byproduct of taking my kids out to play. The more I thought about this the more it made so much sense. When we give our kids room to p...

Being an empath is an incredible thing, understanding how someone feels without even having to talk to them is a gift I'll never take for granted. It means big feelings, exhaustion from crowds, and recharging in nature - who'd have guessed, haha! It's also led me down an introspective thought path, in particular, during or after opinions that challenge my own are shared. It's not easy for anyone to engage, listen, or even entertain ideas that don't support their own worldviews. It's not natural to surround yourself with people that don't share your worldviews and it's not particularly enjoyable. Challenging someone's worldview can cause upset, anger, even - and in particular for an empath - feeling physically unwell. But here's the thing, I think being empathetic and leaning into empathy means more than what might be assumed as "just feeling things" or "understanding the underdog". It means challenging yourself to see it fro...

We met at the park one day when my son had to pee. He was potty-training and while we were playing at the park he started the infamous potty dance. "You can go over there, in the long grass. That's where my sons always go."  I know, that seems like an odd line to bond over, but in that moment I knew I had a new friend. I often write about going to the park, or for walks, and I come at it from all angles. Here is one of my favourite ones - the one that brings you new friends. You see, when we take our kids outside to play, when we venture away from our yards, onto the streets, pathways, and parks in our neighbourhoods, a fantastic thing happens - we meet our neighbours. This is how I met my neighbour - my friend. Yes, we bonded over peeing at the park. Any parent who has gone through potty-training has got to be able to relate to this. We met and we talked. We talked about kids at first - you know, the ones peeing in the long grass - the ones we have in common. K...

This year our oldest little fella started Kindergarten. A massive milestone that, despite my firm belief that it wouldn't bother me, knocked me right on my butt. But I'll save that for another post when it's ready to come out. These last few months we've been biking and walking to school - something I wished I could do as a kid. Something that my boys love waking up and doing. One morning we were late - strapped for time because (for the nine-millionth time) why does no one have their shoes on yet?! - I was scooping up all of our things to rush out to the car when I saw the boys half-way down the sidewalk. I was about to call after them to tell them we were going to drive and then I reconsidered. As we made our way, haphazardly down the sidewalk towards the school I couldn't help but feel overjoyed. Things like  physical literacy , play, and active living have been a huge consideration for us as parents since day one - thanks Dr. Mark Tremblay . Being mindful of...

Last Thursday morning didn't start all that different than most. My alarm woke me up deliberately before the boys, so that I could start my hair and make up before the chaos. I curled my hair while checking my calendar, mentally prepping for the day of meetings ahead of me. As I finished my makeup I heard the fellas rousing, the typical sounds of a four and five year old dressing themselves while simultaneously wrestling with eachother. I made my way to their room to remind them to hustle - feeding everyone breakfast and packing lunches before the walk to school is a small victory that we claim most mornings - most mornings. That's when I saw it, the red rash spreading across my youngest fella's body. The rash that changes plans, keeps you home from work, away from school, cuddled up, and constantly comforting. Parents - you know the scene. Your little human is not well and sleep seems like a thing of the past. There's a fever, or a nasty cough, rash, insert other ailm...

Welp, I'm sick. Chills, fever, burning cheeks, nausea - no joke I am lying in bed as I type this. But if you read my posts, and know me, you know that when I feel compelled to write something, I do. It's like an itch, but a good one, that I just can't ignore. So here goes. I've been home with sick fellas since Thursday. First Porter, then Stetson, with hand, foot, and mouth. Let's start with the shame and guilt there - despite it being a very common illness in young children. I feel like a bad parent and a bad housekeeper. We are essentially on quarantine - and I don't blame anyone - it's not a fun one to get. So there's that. Then there's me. The idealist, the pleaser, the everything to everyone. At home. Away from work for two full days, and counting. Rescheduling and missing meetings. Trying my best to answer emails and still produce. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been planning in my head, repeating over and over my to-do list. Rec...

My sweet friend, I am so very happy for you. I truly am. You are experiencing one of the greatest gifts - a gift that not all women are able to receive. I have seen those women, and known them, even though I am not one. Accept your gift and feel that gratitude. You are no doubt, going through one of the biggest changes ever. Your body is not your own, there's a tiny human growing in it! Your priorities have shifted and already you are thinking about that tiny human before yourself - you'll do that a lot. Soon you'll bring that tiny human into this world - however that happens I hope you know what a champion you are. None of us can plan how that goes, you could write all the birth plans in the world and that tiny human will not give a hoot about your birth plan. Remember how many women have come before you, and how many different ways 7+ billion humans have made their entrances - a teeny tiny percentage of whom maybe followed their birth plan. Maybe. And then there you ...

Being a working mom can come with some guilt. Let's be honest, being a parent, in general, comes with guilt. Trying to be everything to everyone gets old really fast, not to mention it's impossible. When I chose to accept a full-time role over a year ago I knew there were compromises that would come. Pursuing a cause that I am passionate about and balancing it with parenting has been on my mind a lot. I am grateful to be with an organization that is supportive of this, and true to our mission of raising healthier generations recognizes the health benefits that a flexible schedule grants to our family. There are many days though, that call for some extra help with childcare and it's on those days that the guilt creeps in. You know that guilt, the "I should be with my kids now" "Maybe I shouldn't work full-time" and on and on. Yesterday life gave me the sweetest reminder to embrace the village and remember that we are stronger together. While...

Playing is just as important for adults as it is for kids. If you don't believe it, you probably haven't played in a while. We spent the morning at the outdoor rink. the boys played ball hockey while I spent some time playing my very favourite, lacrosse - and I have missed it so much.  This morning I didn't think about how many calories I was burning or the food I was working off. I thought about my life playing with the most amazing ladies, how much fun we had on and off the floor. I thought about my mom, driving us all over the city, working bingos and casinos so we could play. I thought about the joy that sport brought to my life, not just on the floor, but off. I made some of my best friends in sport, was inspired by role models, and built confidence. I thought about the incredible coaches I had that truly made a difference.  When I was thirteen I was looking for a change from figure skating. Fortunately for me, my mom heard about a girls lacrosse team starting...

In March I died my hair and I cut my hair. I know this is seemingly trivial or silly but it turns out it was a lot more than that, and it has taken me nearly four months to see that. I've been reflecting on it a lot lately and thought I would share. For as long as I can remember I have had blonde hair, it's a part of my identity. And for the majority of my adult life, I have had long blonde hair. Anyway, this post wasn't meant to be about me recounting the colour of my hair, more so how my hair colour seems to be a visual manifestation of how I am feeling on the inside. On the spring equinox, I found myself with my best friend, at the salon having inches of hair cut off and my blonde locks darkened. I was ready for a change. The next day I was interviewing for a new role, my "grown-up" role, a role in line with my passion that truly energizes me. Without a doubt, this was a time of change for me. I was putting myself out there, vulnerable and committed to acce...

We just came home from vacation, le sigh. It was magic, who doesn't love vacation?! And who doesn't want more vacation in their life?! The answer is everyone - haha - everyone wants more vacation in their life. I've been thinking about this a lot. I have never really liked the idea of "living for vacation" and over the last few weeks, I couldn't stop thinking about that notion. It seems sad to me to live a life in anticipation. Don't get me wrong, looking forward to vacation is normal, good, exciting, all of that - but living the majority of your life for a few weeks of vacation? It seems to me that life is simply too short and that we deserve to live much happier lives. On vacation, I started a list of the things I loved the most about vacation. Walking to the park in the morning topped my list. Every morning we would head out to the park, I would get a good walk in and the boys would get to run around, play imaginary baseball, soccer, basketball or at ...