To My Friends Having Their First Baby

My sweet friend, I am so very happy for you. I truly am. You are experiencing one of the greatest gifts - a gift that not all women are able to receive. I have seen those women, and known them, even though I am not one. Accept your gift and feel that gratitude.

You are no doubt, going through one of the biggest changes ever. Your body is not your own, there's a tiny human growing in it! Your priorities have shifted and already you are thinking about that tiny human before yourself - you'll do that a lot. Soon you'll bring that tiny human into this world - however that happens I hope you know what a champion you are. None of us can plan how that goes, you could write all the birth plans in the world and that tiny human will not give a hoot about your birth plan. Remember how many women have come before you, and how many different ways 7+ billion humans have made their entrances - a teeny tiny percentage of whom maybe followed their birth plan. Maybe.
And then there you are. Holding your new tiny human. I hope that your eyes fill up with tears and your heart with love that overflows for that tiny human. I hope you want to burst with joy, and pride, and love for the sweet human you have created with your partner. I hope that you appreciate every tiny hair, tiny yawn, tiny hiccup - every tiny thing about your new tiny human.
And I want you to know that if you don't feel like that, that's okay too. And if you don't feel like that I hope you know that one day, you will. I hope that you know you're not alone, or weird. You don't have something wrong with you. I hope you know that of the many, many women who have come before you, there have been many who didn't feel like that. Many who felt numb, or awkward, or confused, lost, sad, indifferent. And that's okay too.
I felt like that. I've shared before (a couple of times - here and here), so no need for the details again. The part I want to share right here is that one day, you'll feel better. One day you will love that tiny human so much that your eyes do fill up with tears and your heart does overflow with love. One day the numbness will fade, your indifference will dissipate, and you'll have your chance. It might take a week, it might take three years, but I promise you will feel it.
And while you are waiting to feel it - I'll be here - to tell you it's okay, you're not a freak, and that you are doing the most incredible job of raising a tiny human. I'll be here to share my story, and the many others I have now heard because of my journey. I'll make you toast, tea, and talk to you through it all.

- lovefrommaria

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